Recognized

Sophia at the school's neighborhood well. She's with some of the
many neighborhood kids we've gotten to know.


Earlier today I experienced something amazing. As I drove through the area near the house after dropping off Sophia at school, I waved to what seemed like a hundred children on their way to the school where I’ve been volunteering. I knew them, and they called out my name as we passed each other. No more “toubob, toubob” (“white person, white person”). We have a relationship. It felt like a going-away present.

Madame Speaker

Me with the Speaker of the House, the Honorable Fatoumata Jahumpa Ceesay
and MP member, Seiko Susso, who arranged the meeting.

Madame Speaker

On Wednesday I had the honor of spending about an hour with the Gambia’s Speaker of the Parliament (House), Fatoumata Jahumpa Ceesay. She’s set the record for many firsts in her country, starting with being the first woman to be deputy mayor of Banjul in 1989. There have been other female Acting Speakers of the House, but she’s the first permanent one. This is a Presidential appointment in the Gambia and Mrs. Jahumpa Ceesay cited a long list of initiatives that President Jammeh has taken to advance women, from appointing more female cabinet secretaries to making primary education for girls free of charge for the first time in the nation’s history.

She spent twenty years working in journalism and as an activist for women and children’s rights. Today, she’s considered one of the best managers of the work of the House, where the membership is comprised of 49 men and 5 women. She’s passionate about her mission and also is a grandmother, like our own American first female Speaker of the House.

Gatekeeper

Pa Calipha and his bow and arrow from Guinnea Bissau. He told me that in some areas of his country, locals fear the bow and arrow more than the gun

We will miss Pa Calipha. He is the respected, regal statured, 75-year old watchman living at our compound.

When I began to drive here, I reflexively reached above the windshield visor for the garage door opener (I think I’ve seen one house in the country with a garage). Then I remembered I need to honk the horn twice and within a few minutes, Pa Calipha is there to open the gate.

My girls and I communicate with him using basic greetings in Wolof or English and the universal “Salam-Aleikum.” Beyond this we use sign language. He speaks his native Fula and learned Wolof after arriving in the Gambia.

Pa Calipha is from Guinea Bissau, a former Portuguese colony, where he was a farmer and trader and also was among those fighting for independence. He is from a chief class that might have seemed a threat to the ruling party after independence; so, twenty years ago he came to live in the Gambia. He lost his three brothers in the independence war. He says this makes the prospect of returning to his hometown too painful to consider, in spite of the fact that in his own country he would be much better off, as he would have land, and importantly, family.

Adviser-Healer-Guide-Counselor

Throughout the day we see men and women of all ages seeking out Pa Calipha. He’s not quite a marabout (according to himself) but he has studied the Quran, he interprets dreams, advises about peoples’ present and future and gives out traditional prescriptions involving various charms, similar to my previous posting about “Stones in the Road.” He also described how he prays for peoples’ particular problems, particularly legal ones. I asked if he knew how effective the prayers and charms have been, and he said: “Too many cases have worked for me to count them.”

Great Big Love

Wife 1 and Wife 2, who "get along like sisters."

Polygamy is a common and accepted practice here. If I mention that it is illegal in the United States, I’m usually met with looks of surprise or bewilderment. A New York Times article on March 23, “In Secret, Polygamy Follows Africans to N.Y.,” (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/23/nyregion/23polygamy.html) even mentions a Gambian. The issue came to the forefront with the tragic Bronx fire involving members of a Malian family where polygamy was practiced.

Aside from traditional cultural practices, polygamy is justified by a verse in the Quran which states that it is acceptable to have more than one wife, if they can all be treated equally. To western eyes, perhaps hundreds of years ago, when there was a shortage of men (due, for example, to wars and long journeys) and women had no way of fending for themselves, polygamy could be justified. In this era, I think the verse is a challenge even to many believers: it seems impossible to treat multiple wives equally. A wise person could say “why don’t you walk from the U.S. to Africa” or “walk to the moon.” But you know full well that it is logically not possible to do either of these – just like it is not possible to treat multiple wives equally. I advocate cultural diversity and preservation, but I also believe that there is a limit to acceptable traditional practices that affect human lives, like female genital mutilation (also very common in the Gambia) and polygamy.

Past-Present-Polygamy

I’ve come across some interesting examples of accomplished women who tell me they have no problem being the second wife.

The Gambian deputy head mistress of the primary school where we volunteer is a second wife (I’ll call her W2). I met the first wife (W1), who sells food at the school, thanks to arrangements made by W2. W2 described that she could never have had children and continued in her career, if it weren’t for the assistance of W1, who wet-nursed W2’s children and cared for them while she went to work. So, while W2 earned income to feed the family, W1 took care of the domestic side. The husband, incidentally, was not even mentioned in this arrangement. After decades of living together, these women have found a way to get along, and perhaps it’s easier without involving him too much.

Another example is that of a few educated European women. In some ways, it’s seen on anthropologic terms: this is an age-old practice, so don’t try to change native culture. One Northern European woman described her situation to me: “Like so many European women, I wanted a career, and by the time I was ready for a family, it was hard to find a compatible man; I was set in my ways and wanted to remain independent. By marrying a man I love who already has a wife to care for him on a daily basis (in a rural area), I can remain in town, have children, and we can see each other on weekends. And I don’t have so many domestic responsibilities. This is an ideal situation for me, and my children are part of a large immediate and extended family.”

I digested this perspective for days. I couldn’t believe that I knew a modern, European woman who seemed perfectly happy being the “weekend wife.”

Not So Easy

These are a few examples of people who tell me they are happy in the moment with their living arrangement. It’s really about that: a living arrangement. It’s not as much about a fulfilling marriage. My African friends have told me that it cannot be a fulfilling marriage in the modern sense of the word. It’s a necessity, due to poverty, and to a lesser extent, tradition. The European example goes back to a living arrangement, and is a definite exception. Among the successful African businesswomen I know, they say “no way” will they stand their husbands taking another wife.

One of the biggest problems I see with the practice (especially in the urban areas) is the fact that there are no boundaries for married men. If they have the material resources to pay a “bride price” (brides are essentially bought), then any girl over the age of 13 or 14 is fair game, regardless of the man’s age. (I spoke with a man in his 70’s who is ready to “take another wife,” the younger the better, and obviously, she must be able to bear children.) It’s also easier to “discard” a wife who doesn’t produce children or fulfill her husband in other ways. Whereas in the west, married men would have clandestine affairs riddled by guilt, here, it is possible to be out in the open with multiple families. Some even consider this more pious, as it gives a man more opportunity to father additional children.

Then there are the health implications, like the spread of STD’s. Having multiple wives increases the spread of HIV and AIDS. Domestic abuse is correlated with a household with multiple wives. There is much frustration, rivalry, and limited resources to feed everyone, so it’s easiest to take out aggravations on the many women and children in the home compound. At the school where I volunteer, every child I asked said that they see their fathers or uncles hitting their mothers and other female family members.

There is much policy and academic research on this subject and it is very complex and emotional. This blog entry – longer than my usual ones – can not treat this subject in depth, but it’s such an important phenomenon in this environment that I needed to write a little about it.

One organization based in Washington, DC, the Tahirih Justice Center, helps women who are fleeing various forms of persecution in their home countries. It started with the asylum case of Fauziya Kasinga of Togo, fleeing forced female genital mutilation, and helped to set legal precedent for women to gain asylum due to gender-based persecution. Since then the Center has helped hundreds of women from around the world. You can find out more at: http://www.tahirih.org/.

Eco-Inspiration

Circular design of the new beach-front resort under construction south of Banjul. The entire project is created based on sustainable development principles.

Alfred - "the man who makes our dreams reality" - the project manager; with Maurice & Geri, in front of the "Queen of the Mangrove" giant heron, the symbol of Sandale Bay

When Alex was coming to visit us, he flew next to an English gentleman who is pouring his heart into turning an ecological dream into a reality. Maurice could easily be spending his time in retirement and rest, but he and his life partner have decided to dedicate their material resources and personal energy into creating an eco-tourism resort that embodies beauty and tranquility with state-of-the-art engineering and sound use of local renewable resources. The result is their soon-to-be-opened Sandale Bay Eco-Retreat at the southern tip of the Gambia’s coast.

Maurice invited our whole family to visit their labor of love under construction, and they’ve been good friends to us since our third week here.

Not Just Environmental

The eco-resort isn’t just good for the environment. It’s good for the whole community. Profits will be shared with the local village. Everything from food to furnishings and building bricks are sourced from local, low-impact materials, creating opportunities for skills training and income generation. About 70 percent of the employees will come from the local community and assistance will be provided for villagers to start their own businesses. At the end of the 25-year lease, the entire resort is given back to the community from which it was built. The place already has begun serving as an international training center for eco-tourism, international development, and even hosts yoga retreats and inter-faith meetings.

After about ten years in the Gambia (where they run another hotel, the Safari Garden, which is a hang-out for lots of interesting people visiting or staying in the country) Maurice and Geri also work actively in other organizations for Gambian development. They have become experts in how to work best in the local environment and culture. They also are great examples of how to not lose idealism while making the world a better place.

Gambia – No Problem

Some of the guys (and kids) push-starting the car

The Gambia’s motto is “Africa’s Smiling Coast.” I also often hear “Gambia – No Problem.” As our days in Africa are winding down, it occurs to me that there is much behind these slogans.

On Thursday, the mottos rang so true, as twice on the road the Pathfinder wouldn’t start, and people all around – as if emerging from the woodwork – came out to help. The car needed to be push-started with some muscle and some finesse, so lots of guys came to the rescue to push and the first time, a driver for a bank, and the second time, a taxi driver, stopped everything to make sure I was safely back on the road. As I thanked people during the process I repeatedly heard “no problem” and “Gambia – No Problem.”

I kept thinking “What a great place to have your car break-down.” This is another example of the local strengths. These people who helped me may not have had great means, but their generous spirit shines through. Everyone pulls together and no one is left stranded.

Fashionistas

Chan with me wearing the dress she had made for me, at the wedding

The first day I met Ida and Chan, after the Parliamentary opening, next to my car

When I attended the opening of Parliament, two women in the audience caught my eye: they were dressed strikingly, with gorgeous hair and make-up capping their elegant ensembles. Then, as I was going back to my car after the program, I saw the two of them walking past my car. I called out to them, and we started talking. Since that day, we have become friends.

Chan and Ida are two of the most prominent fashion designers and dressmakers in the country. They are savvy businesswomen with a thriving clientele and employ scores of tailors and others to support their businesses. When I went to the Youssou N’dor concert, it was their designs in the fashion show. They also do the clothing for women in prominent positions, like first ladies and Ambassadors, throughout West Africa, with their signature Sene-Gambian style.

I’ve been most impressed by how genuine they both have been. Ida apprenticed under Chan for two years and then started her own business. (Chan is a family friend, and was the first dressmaker in the country to have her own shop separate from her home, over twenty years ago)They both loved sewing as teens, made their own clothes and would give or sell them to friends. I tried to understand how the now-competitors preserve their relationship. They both spoke with me (separately and together) as if it was totally natural. On some projects, like decorating the Parliament hall, they act as partners. They are dear friends and that is the most important thing. Ida even named her first child, a daughter, after Chan.

I’ve been wanting a local dress. Before I even mentioned this to Chan, she suggested, one day at her home (where the door is always open and friends are constantly in and out), that she wanted to make me something. She’s the one who invited us to the wedding a few weeks ago and I needed something formal to wear. She had a very special hand-died fabric from Mali that she wanted to use and we talked about the potential design for about 90 seconds. However much I insisted, she would not allow me to pay for the dress. The result far surpassed my expectations and I can’t wait to wear it to something fancy in Philly. More than that, it’s a great memento of a new, dear friend, and the qualities of elegance and generosity that she embodies in so many ways.