Trouble Connecting

(Note: I wrote this 48 hours ago, and we feel so much better – the sun is shining and our internet is back up; but it does give a glimpse into some ups-and-downs of staying in a new and very different place…)

It's been almost two weeks that we are in Africa and some of the frustrations of this very different life are affecting us. I tried unsuccessfully for about six hours to send a few emails, make a couple phone calls that were repeatedly disconnected, then ran out of credit on the mobile phone, and walked back and forth on the sandy path between the cottage and the laundry area to wash the sheets Sophia soiled last night (to her credit, her first accident since we left home).

Anisa is almost recovered from her sadness of last night, where she lamented the strange feeling of living behind a closed gate that opens into a world of "poor people" and eager young men insisting on shaking your hand then asking/demanding "[what is] you-a name, you-a country"; a school climate that's rougher than she's every seen in suburbia; the oddity of maids in the house – and the color line that goes with it; older sibling and cousins that exclude her; missing her school and especially, missing her daddy. These are all perceptions of an 11-year old. Her cousins are very nice to her and her school is as good as can be found. Some of the adjustment is to a British teaching style, versus an American – we're still figuring out what that actually means. And it really is a strange feeling to be taught all your life about racial equality and then come to Africa to see that there is a longer way to go than could ever have been imagined. And how much of it is cultural? Or economic? Or ethnic? Or education levels? Or… We're also trying to get our heads around the depth of poverty around us – and we might never be able to.

And Sophia is just love-sick for her daddy that is not yet with us. She cries for him on regular intervals, about four times per day. Layla, of all of us, seems fine – too fine. As I wrote to my mother, it seems Layla is Teflon and Anisa is Velcro.

Noone will get used to not having daddy here (although his brother is making Herculean efforts to making Sophia laugh, plays hide-and-seek with her and peels her an orange to fascinate her, with one thin, long, spiral piece of peel – a snake – she can play with), but the rest is all about adjustment to a very foreign place. My experience of living overseas is that no matter how wonderful the people you are with, it takes some time for it to feel like home, so there are inevitable ups and downs. The challenge is to find that place of contentment on the inside that ultimately leads to ease with what's on the outside. So, whether it's with the internet or with the people and the culture, we need to be more forgiving of ourselves and our environment, in order that we won't have so much…trouble connecting.